circumstances
caused me too early to see
how one human being can
beat and kick another one
and also that one must always bow
to whoever is boss
"But bowing is done on the outside
from the inside we don't bow"
since then no more bows
for nobody
never been able to suffer a boss
through circumstances
never got to know my father
in the way a father should be known
he and I grew apart
through circumstances
left to myself by my mother
alienated from relatives
feeling attached to nobody
through circumstances
I came to hate my past
wanted to hide it like a scar
in public I renounced it
but my perjury was unmasked
and as a punishment
I now have to cherish it
for all to see
circumstances for years
kept me from holding a book
even though I already could read
and wanted to do nothing but read
about living in peace
about how things could have been
the only lesson I got
was a lesson in violence and misery
circumstances
made me too skillful a sufferer
my Ouch! sounds too late or not at all
and I never know when to start feeling hurt
circumstances
made me tend
to stand away from myself
this is not me
that was not me
it doesn't concern me
they can kick me and beat me
I feel nothing
even when I am counted in
I'm not there
and yet
all the time I need to stand up for myself
just because
circumstances
- just let me call the war that -
caused me to carry a garden with me
a small garden
maybe not such a fine one
but full of secret places
which only I know
a garden where I am the boss
and remained a child all the same
where I bow for myself
and bending forward
look at my flowers
and enjoy
